I never enjoy being unhappy. This is the year however, when on a very personal level, I am to leave a whole decade behind. So some records need to be straightened.
I know myself a bit now, I know I still react to most things instinctively; that left to my own devices, I will often surpass my own expectations; that now I think not so much with my heart, but sometimes genuinely think too; but that with all the thinking behind me, I would still behave in very reckless and foolhardy ways most of the time.
Those that I labelled mistakes, were actually lessons learnt. Although I still adapt and butt my head against immovable walls, often both at the same time, sometimes I surprise myself by getting up and moving on. Often when I least expect it.
Most of all, I love me. I realise, given all the fuck-ups, weirdness, insanity, hysteria, laughter, joy and vindication, I would not change one tiny thing about who I am and what I have been. Because, summing it all up, I am actually a pretty decent person. And that makes it quite nice being me.
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Life becomes much easier and better when we realise that most of the battles we had been waging were not with others but with parts of our own selves.
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