Saturday, 17 April 2010

Sometimes, you want something so bad, you can't breathe when the desire hits you, overwhelms you. You feel trapped, cornered, because that is all you can feel with every fibre of your being.

I crack a joke, try to think of the work at hand. It is of no use: my mind is stuck with a picture, and I reach for songs that intensify the feeling. I try looking heavenward, wondering if prayers and selfish motives ever overlap.

Affirmations, willpower, The Secret - hell, I'd try anything.

I can understand now, why some people can risk everything on a turn of dice, especially when the losings pile up.

Friday, 16 April 2010

The ironies of life

are such!

When you want a conversation, everyone will be busy.

When you need to be alone, people will seek you out.

When you want to keep a low profile, your private news becomes everyone's business.

Then, I decide to double cross Murphy.

I keep quiet, when I want to speak out. The silence works much better than an outburst would.

I smile when I am at my angriest. The argument ends without any permanent damage.

And sometimes, when I realise, I am not strong enough to bend will against instinct, I stay alone.