Sunday, 1 February 2009

Mediocre at best

An endless, tedious, hopeless, predictable existence. Running like a hampster, or a monkey climbing an oiled pole!

There are moments in life, when you witness someone giving voice to your innermost thoughts. Art does it well enough, and you turn the page, or shift in your seat clutching the popcorn, drinking in what unfolds before your eyes.

A book I once read (Marjorie Morningstar, if you would like to know) mirrored what I saw today (Revolutionary Road, nosy). I was elated though. Positively joyous. I know now why I have this time on my hands and what I am supposed to do with it. And myself.

Sitting there, I felt like creating something really strange and silly. Maybe a bizzarely shaped chair. Or something! Of my own design. I didn't care whether it would be of any use to anyone for anything at all. It was just because I need to start exploring. What I can do. Whether a dark skirt suit will forever own me, with daily readings of indices I was never meant to track. Or maybe, I will discover, I do have a destiny of the kind I'd always hoped for.


the snow is five inches thick. And it snows on still.
I cowered when I stepped out first, blinking against snowflakes falling into my eyes. But then decided, why not! A Japanese girl and I took turns, photographing each other on the snow-lined platform, I used my right foot to etch I (heart) S on a white platform edge. Then I reached the movie hall, ten minutes too late.
On screen, two hours of conversation and an oppressive tension grew. The denouement, when it came, was predictable, but still made me cringe.
Trains crawled, ours decided not to move at all.
A chatty cab ride, double the fare, stranded cars: the heaviest snowfall London has seen in ten (or was it fifteen?) years.
An adventure on a special night. Parts of it may have been less comfortable than the others.
What really made me uncomfortable though, was the colour of the sky. A bright glowing red it is, at midnight too! The colour skies are when aliens attack in your dreams.
I am back home and jittery, everything is still glowing (white) under the strange red light.